My Own 600-Pound Life

I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that we sometimes are our worst critics.  Not only that, I think we, as the human race, tend to question things.  I think that's our nature.  If not our nature, I think it's at least what our environment teaches us.  Take for example that people used to stop for people on the side of the road.  I know that I wouldn't do that now.  Not because that I'm not a nice person, but simply because I don't know those people and who knows whether they have a shotgun in the back of their van or not.

I don't think our weight loss journey is any different.  I think it's deeper than that, though.  For most of us who are on this journey, it's a hard and emotional place to be.  I think that if we don't lose or we don't lose what we think we should, we not only question what we did wrong, but we begin to doubt.  We begin to doubt not only what we did, but I think we begin to doubt our own selves.  I know I do.

For example, as I said last week, this is the first time on a weight loss journey that I have ever exercised for more than a week.  It's an unknown for me.  I don't know how my body responds to things and I don't know how to compensate for them.  It's an unknown variable.  Well, I lost 1 pound this week.  The same pound, mind you, that I gained last week.  So I have a big fat 0 for the past two weeks.  All the working out and following program have done absolutely nothing on the scale.

So where's the plus in this?  I honestly don't know.  I have a hard time seeing that.  The only thing that keeps me going on the exercise is I have a 5K I am training for and if I don't keep training, I won't be able to walk the whole thing with my friends.  I have to keep exercising.  The deadline for it keeps coming closer.

And if I'm going to exercise, I sure as heck am not going to eat bad.  Why would I do that to myself?  So here's having faith that my body knows what it's doing with itself and that the things I am doing are at least healthier than what I was doing before.  I am in a very dark place right now because I'm frustrated and disappointed in myself.  I have nothing to show for the last two weeks.  Hopefully I will see the results next week on the scale.

To all of those out there that are in the same boat as me, we can make it.  We know what we are doing works for us, but we just have an unknown variable.  Perhaps in a couple of weeks the storm will clear and we will see the results of our labor.  Here's hoping that's true.  Keep your chin up.  Don't be your worst critic.  Give yourself some credit for doing what you have done.

Oh, and if you have time, remind me to do the same.